Why I’ve Been Away
It’s been almost two months since I made my last post. In my eyes the reason for that was very clear but I never made any formal announcement. On June 24th, the US Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade and shattered the nation. As a society we’ve had so much thrown at us in the past two years, you begin to ask “ what else could go wrong” and soon regret it. There seems to always be something more tragic lingering around the corner and there’s only so much one person can take at a time.
I remember when I first heard the news I had just woken up and read a tweet that said something along the lines of “not me waking up to my rights being taken away”. What could this possibly be referring to this time. I scrolled a little bit further and it kept getting worse. Going onto the other apps was like stepping outside your home during a burning apocalypse - it was not looking good.
People had reached another level of defeat and how can you blame us? What control or power do we truly hold in these times? This downward spiral of thinking began to make me feel extremely unmotivated. There was no hope in our progression so how could I continue to carry on like nothing happened. Well the key factor is to not just “carry on” because something very big did happen and it’s okay to feel the burden. I didn’t want to force myself to do anything I wasn’t ready to do, such as writing or crocheting but it did start to weigh on me.
After I gave myself the time to identify my emotions, I started to slowly get my motivation back. Even though I was upset with the world, it didn’t mean I had to lock up and hide in my shell. It happened before after the 2016 election which is why I know the feeling all too well. I had just graduated high school, it was my first election, and people my age truly thought we had done everything we could to “secure a better future”. Then the results came in, reality hit and that doomsday feeling lasted for four long years. I was in complete disbelief that they let us down so badly that it made me become dissociated.
I’m trying to be proactive and have balance so I don’t sink into that dark place again. It’s so fucking hard with everything we’re faced with every single day, which is why there should be no expectation on the “right” way to process news. We have to find what fits for us, stay informed, but also stay healthy and not create a stress induced explosion.
For me, that includes trying to channel my frustrations into my passions so there’s at least some creative outlet. Hence why I decided to pick up the pen again and get the ball rolling. Through all the bullshit, I still have my own goals that include building a better future for everyone. So personally I’d like to stay sharp and not feel dragged down for months or even years. The people need the people! We are all that we have.
Yellowhammer Fund is an organization that helps fund abortion and promote reproductive justice in Alabama & the Deep South. Please consider supporting them.
